The trouble with being needed

To a certain degree, to be needed is a wonderful feeling. It gives a sense of usefulness and purpose to one’s life. Being needed makes a person feel uniquely important; perhaps without her, a job or task could not be completed.

In a community with need (and let’s face it, that is probably the majority of communities everywhere — if not all communities), inevitably someone in my position will find places to be needed. Being able to step in and alleviate stress or do things others simply can’t get around to due to more urgent responsibilities has allowed me to feel like I belong in Booneville, like I’m not just keeping busy but actually helping.

It used to be that when someone would ask how long I would be in Booneville, the response was something like, “Oh, that long!” Now when someone asks when I leave a typical reaction is, “That soon!” occasionally followed by a question of how things will get done without me. Some members of my church have even joked about finding me a husband so I will stay in Booneville.

The difficulty I find myself faced with is showing my community that I am actually not needed, but that they, in fact, can fill their own needs. This of course means remembering myself that I am not the only one who capable of what I’m doing and finding people willing to take on a little responsibility.

After months of practice, I have worked out the kinks of making a complex-looking church bulletin with Word (a program most everyone has on their computer these days). Now I just need to figure out who would like to take over for me. At the Boys and Girls Club, I am hoping to enlist the older kids and teach them how to make a club newsletter.

You see, being needed can be a wonderful feeling — but ultimately I’m not here to be needed so much as to show that I am not needed. I am here to work alongside the people who won’t leave at the end of April so that this community can continue to improve with or without me. I’m not here to be needed; I’m here to love and believe in Booneville.