Fasting for others

As I alluded to last week, the idea of fasting as more than the size meals I eat or whether or not I consume meat is a relatively new concept for me. This Lent is really opening my eyes to what fasting is and what it can be.

I’ve always thought of fasting as a personal thing. So I was surprised on Ash Wednesday to hear the priest at my church explaining that when we fast and pray and give alms, it should be for the benefit of others. I understood how we could pray for others and give to those in need … but how could I fast for others? I did not know at that time that this Lent would present opportunities for me to see how I could fast for the benefit of others.

One such opportunity was a 24-hour food fast I participated in with the youth of my church. About 15 of the youth (and some particularly inspired parents and grandparents) forwent eating and drank only juice or water for 24 hours to raise awareness and learn about world hunger and poverty while being in solidarity (a theme of Catholic social teaching) with those who hunger on a daily basis. It was great to see a group of 5th -12th graders be models for how the rest of the church might spend some of their Lent fasting for the poor.

One other way I had seen my fasting benefit others is among my own team. Not surprisingly, on a team of five we have a variety of eating preferences. Despite that, we have set aside a couple of meals each week to have one person cook and eat together. While the meals were always foods everyone would be willing to eat, recently I have seen much more thought put into meeting the needs of the rest of the team when making something. For example, though I have given up meat for the entirety of Lent, I know the majority of my team would still appreciate this source of protein in a meal. Therefore when it is my turn, I make sure to account for this need/desire in their life; they, in turn, have considerately accommodated a fairly restrictive diet. Though it was not originally my intent, I believe my fasting is benefiting us as a team.

I guess fasting for others isn’t as hard or strange as I had originally thought.

The similarities of sin and chocolate

Having been Catholic my entire life, when I think of Lent, fasting just kind of follows naturally. But in truth, I never put a lot of thought into abstaining from meat on Fridays (in fact I have probably forgotten about abstaining more times than I could count in my 23 years) or into fasting on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. It was a rule I followed. I’m not sure I really got the point behind it.

Over my years I have also given up many things for Lent. I can still remember the year I successfully gave up chocolate for the whole 40 days — including Sundays — and was congratulated by my parents with an Easter Sunday gift of pogs representing every football team in the NFL. Oddly, I was very excited about it. Then there was the trend of doing something more rather than giving up. (One Lent I resolved to make my bed daily — unsuccessfully.)

I guess I’ve come to the point of combining these two lines of thought into giving up and trying to do more. For this year’s season that translates to a pretty restrictive fast for the whole of Lent (not just Ash Wednesday and Good Friday) and continuing my pursuits of putting God first in my life.

Twelve days into the journey, I would say I’m doing pretty well. Clearly the former Lenten resolution is more easily measurable than the latter, but all the same I think I am on the right track. But that’s not to say that I haven’t had wavering thoughts.

Without getting into all the details of my fast … to say the least sugar is off limits. Well, just in case you didn’t notice, Thursday was Valentine’s Day. And Valentine’s Day means candy and chocolate, especially among the elementary school crowd I hang out with daily at the Boys and Girls Club (but there were also a substantial amount of sweets that morning at the senior center).

Being utterly surrounded by chocolate and sugar in all its varied forms begins to make a girl think: What would one little bite of fudge hurt? Theoretically it probably wouldn’t hurt anything … except for every idea behind the fast I am doing. Immediately a parallel thought process popped in my head.

Can we not tend to use the same justification when it comes to sin? What would one lie or one unkind thought or a little bit of jealousy hurt? But ultimately that little lie or thought or jealousy would be my one bite of fudge on Valentine’s Day that would undo all the careful and thoughtful work I had been doing up to that point.

Just a little something to think about. :)

Oh and don’t worry — I resisted the sweet treats. This way Easter will be that much sweeter.

My very special birthday surprise

I have officially been 23 for just over a week now. It is funny to think about how this age used to sound so old to me, and yet now here I am … out of college and 23.

I was not one of those kids who always knew what I wanted to be when I grew up (although I did spend a few years convinced I would be an MTV VJ) so I can’t say I ever had a clear idea of what I would be doing at this point in my life. The only thing I know for sure is that I never would have imagined I would begin my 23rd year volunteering in a Boys and Girls Club in a population 4,000 town in Arkansas.

Usually, for a birthday spent at the Boys and Girls Club, all the kids sing “Happy Birthday” to the lucky staff or member. My birthday had no such event. But what I did get I appreciated much more.

At the club, there is a certain newly-seven-year-old whom I had informed of my birthday, only because hers is a mere three days after mine. I didn’t really expect her to commit the date to memory, but she did — always reminding me it was almost February 4 and what was I going to do to celebrate my birthday?

On Monday she rushed up to remind me what was so special about the day (incase I had forgotten I suppose) and told me she had a very special surprise for me but she couldn’t tell me what it was. This excitement was followed by quietly singing me happy birthday. She was so excited you might have thought it was actually her birthday and not mine.


My surprises from her were: A birthday pop-up card (made at the club on Friday), a painting of a Webkinz lion (pictured above), a golden dollar (not a Sacagawea … I guess these are new?) she had found at the club, as well as many hugs and much excitement.

I suppose what makes me so happy about my birthday surprises are they make me feel like I must be doing something right at the club. I am building real relationships with the kids and letting them know that they are valuable and cared for.

So, without a doubt, I never thought one of my favorite 23rd birthday presents would be a seven-year-old’s rendition of a Webkinz … about as much as I never thought I would live in Arkansas. But I guess that’s just one of the things I love about this opportunity.


Becca

The trouble with being needed

To a certain degree, to be needed is a wonderful feeling. It gives a sense of usefulness and purpose to one’s life. Being needed makes a person feel uniquely important; perhaps without her, a job or task could not be completed.

In a community with need (and let’s face it, that is probably the majority of communities everywhere — if not all communities), inevitably someone in my position will find places to be needed. Being able to step in and alleviate stress or do things others simply can’t get around to due to more urgent responsibilities has allowed me to feel like I belong in Booneville, like I’m not just keeping busy but actually helping.

It used to be that when someone would ask how long I would be in Booneville, the response was something like, “Oh, that long!” Now when someone asks when I leave a typical reaction is, “That soon!” occasionally followed by a question of how things will get done without me. Some members of my church have even joked about finding me a husband so I will stay in Booneville.

The difficulty I find myself faced with is showing my community that I am actually not needed, but that they, in fact, can fill their own needs. This of course means remembering myself that I am not the only one who capable of what I’m doing and finding people willing to take on a little responsibility.

After months of practice, I have worked out the kinks of making a complex-looking church bulletin with Word (a program most everyone has on their computer these days). Now I just need to figure out who would like to take over for me. At the Boys and Girls Club, I am hoping to enlist the older kids and teach them how to make a club newsletter.

You see, being needed can be a wonderful feeling — but ultimately I’m not here to be needed so much as to show that I am not needed. I am here to work alongside the people who won’t leave at the end of April so that this community can continue to improve with or without me. I’m not here to be needed; I’m here to love and believe in Booneville.