Trying something new

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Is Facebook unchristian?

During an attempt today to find an article in Our Sunday Visitor pertaining to the province I work for, I stumbled upon, "How to steer clear of pitfalls when using Facebook."

Being more or less your average 24-year-old, I remember the days when Facebook was far more exclusive. The days when students with smaller enrollments had to petition TheFacebook.com to take pity on them and add their college to the database so they could keep in touch with friends in a new and exciting way. The days when there were no applications, photo albums or notes; just walls, groups (which were limited to your college network), profile pictures, and pokes (and who really understood those anyway?).

In fact, I even remember the day the student body of St. Bonaventure University was granted access to Facebook. It was the last day of finals for my sophomore year. It was, to say the least, a bit of a distraction in my attempts to study that day. I'm sure by the end of that day I was thrilled to have something like 20 friends.

Today, between high school and college friends, YouthWorks and GreaterWorks peers, community members, youth who came on mission trips, a handful of relatives and all the random people along the way, I now round out at 595 "friends." (I'm thinking I should break the 600 mark soon enough, being in a new city and all.)

Facebook truly can be a time suck. There have been days when I've found myself looking at baby pictures for people I've only spent a week with in my entire life, or looking through countless wedding photos of a classmate I haven't talked to in at least five years. It is a fabulous way to keep up with who's pregnant, engaged, married or some combination of the afore-mentioned. In a lot of ways, its like a tabloid tailored to my life, with all the latest gossip about former classmates instead of celebrities.

But the powers of Facebook are not all pointless and/or evil. Given the places life has lead me, I do believe it would be impossible to foster relationships some people I genuinely enjoy without facebook. I can catch up with people I see only on a limited basis but like to think we would hang out and be real friends if we didn't live all over the country. Closer bonds might get a longer e-mail, or, if I'm feeling adventurous, a phone call. And, I did use Facebook to reconnect with some college and high school friends I'd lost touch with that were living in the same Big Apple as me.

If you're still reading, you might be thinking, "So what does all this rambling about Facebook have to do with the OSV article?" While I recommend reading it; it was interesting — one idea in particular popped out at me: According to Wally Metts, a professor of communications and media at Spring Arbor University in Michigan, "Trying to sustain hundreds of relationships will almost inevitably distract you from sustaining a few meaningful ones." Metts goes on to suggest limiting news feeds to report on only people "you geunuinely care about."

So tonight, that's just what I did. I went through the most recent days of random information about the nearly-600 so-called friends I have and "hid" anyone I haven't talked to since graduating college, as well as anyone I know I'm never going to have a meaningful relationship with. While this might sound a little harsh, I can still keep in touch with all these people should I need to without being constantly clued in on their daily lives. This frees up space to hear more about that handful of relatives, my close high school friends I left behind in Cincinnati, and the people who have really impacted my life in the past year and a half.

I think ultimately its going to prove to be very freeing.

No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow

"April prepares her green traffic light and the world thinks 'Go.'"
—Christopher Morley

Living in Arkansas, where you can practically blink and miss winter, made me forget how much appreciated the arrival of spring can be. Living in New York has made the arrival of the season much anticipated, particularly after a very cold, very wet Monday this week where I unintentionally walked the wrong direction going somewhere and arrived at my destination longing for warmth with jeans soaked practically to the knee.

All week I eagerly discussed the 80 degree weather predicted to be coming this weekend with colleagues, random friars in the elevator and a college classmate I bumped into on the subway platform. I was skeptical when Thursday was still fairly cold and trying not to get my hopes up Friday morning when it was still relatively chilly. I was even doubtful Saturday morning when I checked the temperature to find it was in the high 50s.

But sure enough, the temperature rose as the day went on and by the time I was ready to venture out it was somewhere in the 80s, just as promised.

Its amazing how much warmer weather can brighten a day and beckon you to be outside. Yesterday I walked to the grocery store and made a pasta salad for lunch (I also bought some strawberries and angel food cake for strawberry shortcake). After a bible study later in the evening, I couldn't believe I wasn't shivering in my short sleeves when the sun went down.

I strolled to church in warm weather for the first time this morning and took more time than usual making my way home. But that wasn't enough time outside for me. Sitting in my apartment knowing how warm and sunny it was outside I decided to go for a walk with no real destination. So I headed toward Williamsburg (the neighborhood next to Greenpoint, often described as being full of hipsters*) and the park. Mostly I just walked in and out of shops and didn't buy anything, although I did end up getting a few more groceries, a couple of blisters, and possibly a slight sunburn on my back (too soon to tell).

All in all, it was a lovely excursion that left me truly appreciating living in a place where I am walking distance to pretty much anything I need (not the case in Ohio) as well as some things I don't need but are still very interesting.

So now the important question: Is the weather going to stay this way? Well, the weather channel is predicting highs in the 80s tomorrow, and a high of 90(!) on Tuesday. Honestly, 90 degrees might be a little high for me, especially in April. After that it trickles down into the 60s and 70s.

And with that, I am exhausted.



*Definition of hipster, per UrbanDictionary.com: Listens to bands that you have never heard of. Has hairstyle that can only be described as "complicated." (Most likely achieved by a minimum of one week not washing it.) Probably tattooed. Maybe gay. Definitely cooler than you. Reads Black Book, Nylon, and the Styles section of the New York Times. Drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon. Often. Complains. Always denies being a hipster. Hates the word. Probably living off parents money — and spends a great deal of it to look like they don't have any. Has friends and/or self cut hair. Dyes it frequently (black, white-blonde, etc. and until scalp bleeds). Has a closet full of clothing but usually wears same three things OVER AND OVER (most likely very tight black pants, scarf, and ironic tee-shirt). Chips off nail polish artfully after $50 manicure...

A job and a half

I've decided living in a new city where you know (practically) no one ... well it makes your life a little more difficult. Especially when you're out of school.

I think sometimes we take for granted how easy it is to meet people growing up. Until moving to New York, I was always in a situation where meeting people my own age just sort of happened. Elementary school, high school, college — everyone is just trying to meet people and make friends. Even during my time with YouthWorks! and GreaterWorks, I was working with young Christians passionate about their faith. We had the same general interests and beliefs. Friendship just sort of happened.

But now I've moved somewhere where the only people I knew previously are a handful of college classmates that I more or less lost all contact with over the past two or so years. While I really enjoy my job and the people I work with, it is a small office with maybe a dozen people, and I am easily the youngest. So, not going to make lots of friends there.

I moved here aware of the idea that making friends was going to be a challenge. At times I feel like meeting people is like having a part time job. Example: In the past week I have gone to three young adult events at various locations in the city (or its surrounding boroughs) after work. The most recent kept me away from my apartment until about 11:15 p.m. I chose to stay that long, because it was interesting and I was enjoying my company, but nonetheless.

All this is to say that I feel like I might finally be making some headway. After nearly three months of living here, I feel like I'm getting to the point where I might be able to call people beyond my roommate "friend." (I joke with her that she has to be my friend since I pay her $850 a month.)

Its definitely something out of my comfort zone, having to intentionally seek out friendships, but I am happy to see my efforts finally paying off. Maybe soon my part-time job trying to find friends can turn into relaxation and rejuvenation with people whose company I really enjoy.

(You should also take the general topic of this blog to understand why I hardly ever write. Would you have the time if you were as busy as I was?)

Northern hospitality?

Sometimes (okay, most of the time) I miss the south. New York is just an entirely different pace. Granted, I am learning to appreciate this entirely different place, but it is not Arkansas — that's for sure. I feel like things were comfortable in Arkansas. Here people get irritated if you hesitate before exiting the subway gates or if you don't walk at a speed that implies you're already 10 minutes late to where you're going (I guess that would be 10 minutes late in Booneville ... because here it's just normal).

Earlier this week, I was trying to climb on a train during "rush hour" for my morning commute, and got pushed into the woman in front of me. I was ready to apologize to her (mind you for something I had no control over) when she turned around with an angry look and said "Could you not??" Sometimes I worry this irritation is could be contagious and will begin to rub off on me.

Then there's the friendliness, or lack thereof here. That's not to say that I haven't met friendly people — because I absolutely have. In fact, I want to say that I am pleasantly surprised with the friendliness of some of the people I've met. But New York lacks the overall friendly charm of the southern part of our country. People don't honk and wave. Smiles as a result of eye contact with a stranger are seldom. In fact, most people do whatever they can to avoid eye contact. This is hard for me, because I'm so used to living in a small town where either I know the person or I just might as well be polite and friendly and smile and say hi.

Reflecting on these facts of life as they seem, I can't help but think the two are related, maybe in a never-ending circle. That is to say, if people were friendlier, maybe they wouldn't be in such a rush or so irritated with the person standing in front of them (or in my case, behind them); and if they weren't in such a rush, perhaps they would have more time to be friendly.

On a lighter, entirely unrelated note, I finally bought a bed Thursday evening and had my first glorious night of sleep on it. And tonight I got some lovely coverings for it that I should be receiving by early next week at the latest. Next? A dresser, I hope.

It's snowing!

Not that that is at all a new or exciting sight for me, I just happened to look out my window and see this though.

So, not really feeling in an extraordinarily creative mood, but a little bit about how I spent my weekend.

Determined to pick up some necessities I'd been neglecting buying (read: hangers), I headed out Saturday morning to go to a Kmart I had spent a decent amount of time at on Monday while killing an hour or two before going to an evening event in Manhattan. So, Saturday I went back to pick up some things on a mental list in my head that I had been feeling a need for. Some of the things I purchased: trash liners for our kitchen trash can (we had been reusing plastic bags), hand soap, a cutting board, and about 30 hangers. The hangers were by far the most worthwhile purchase (although the cutting board is also very nice) since without any real furniture, my clothes didn't have a lot of places to go. Now I was able to hang up the majority of my tops and store the rest in an under the bed storage box left by a previous roommate (of course with no bed, it is just in the corner of my room). My next goal is to get a mattress and some bedding for that, and also a dresser. At that point I will be in pretty good shape.

Saturday evening one of my roommate's friends knew a DJ who would be at a bar in the next neighborhood over, so I tagged along with them where we ended up meeting three Australians. When explaining to one of them where I work and what I do, he replied, "Oh yeah, I think I've seen their ads on the subway." Which I appreciated hearing, because sometimes I wonder how many people actually read the ads on the trains.

And finally, today was a bit more relaxing (but still exhausting). I ended up checking out St. Patrick's Cathedral for Mass, which I think would be incredibly large to most people, but lately I've been playing a game where I think how many Our Lady of the Assumptions (my church in Booneville) could fit into a given church in New York. For example, St. Francis, the church right next to my office, I've decided, could fit somewhere between eight to 10 Assumptions. St. Patrick's could probably fit about 100. So I just couldn't get over how enormous the place was. I think I am going to keep exploring the city's churches though.

After Mass I forced myself to go grocery shopping since I had been just running to the organic store around the corner for 1 or 2 meal shops. So I decided I would stock up a little. Except that I have no car and it is about a 2 block walk to the grocery store. Granted, this is not very far ... but it seems much farther when you decide to buy 3 1/2 gallons of juice and milk, eggs, an assortment of canned goods and other miscellaneous foods. Thankfully, it managed to all fit into the two reusable shopping bags I'd stashed in my purse.

So now, I guess I'm ready for the start of yet another week in New York City...

Just some of the amazing things I've seen

I know I should probably write something about how my actual life here is going, but in the interest of time (and the fact that I don't know if I'm in the mood to write something of any sort of length), I thought I would share some of the unusual things I've seen over my first two weeks of living in New York.

This first is a picture I took in Target in Fort Greene, Brooklyn. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen: an escalator for carts!


This one is from my ride home on the subway today. I didn't even notice it at first, but after a stop or two I looked over and noticed that a man sitting not too far away from me had the most enormous, what was I'm guessing a, stand-up bass. I just can't imagine lugging it on and off the trains, so I had to take a picture.


And lastly, because I was shocked to see how large the monitor is to my beautiful Mac at work:

And five months later, I've finally found it

Almost five months ago now, I had the realization that I was ready for what was next in my life. Or at least I thought I was ready for what was next.

Late one night during Holy Week last year, I was finishing up a turn as guardian of the Eucharist in a span of Adoration at my small church in Booneville. Seeing the next guardian was there, I quietly finished my prayers and headed outside to drive our big blue van back to our house. I was only slightly aware that another woman from the church, who I had only spoken with on one or instances before, had followed me out. As I was unlocking the van, she approached me and said there was something she felt she needed to tell me. Her insight for me was to "be prepared for the journey ahead of me." She of course, could not tell me what exactly this referred to. Originally I thought maybe it was in reference to what was to come with my summer with YouthWorks! in Booneville (thinking it would be yet another challenge — of course if you read my previous blog you would know it was quite the opposite). As I wrote the previous reflection, I thought maybe the "journey" she referred to had to do with the experience I would have coming home and searching for a job. I think I was still only partially right. Let me share some of my past months' journey with you.

At the beginning of October, I received an email from a former boss and mentor of mine about a potential job. We had met a month or so prior in an attempt to soak up some of her wisdom on finding a job in Cincinnati, so she knew I was looking. As I began scanning over the text on my BlackBerry, my excitement quickly faded as I read the details of the job. It was for the Holy Name Province, which was exciting, but I knew immediately that would mean having to move to New York City. I briefly considered not applying, but, I remembered a phrase my friend Courtney sometimes said when I was trying to figure out who to take to our high school dances — beggars can't be choosers — and decided I couldn't yet rule it out. And anyway, what does it hurt to apply? (At that point, my many applications had not lead to any fruition.)

So I applied, and told my mentor of this, and she wrote a very kind recommendation for me. I waited, and several weeks later, I woke up to my phone ringing with a phone number I was not familiar with. I did my best to shake off that just-woke-up sound to my voice and talked briefly to the woman who would eventually become my new boss. We briefly discussed the possibilities of me coming to New York for an interview, and she said she would be in touch.

Over the following months I took a whirlwind trip to the city, waited a lot, put together some writing samples for a newsletter, had a phone interview, and waited more to hear. And finally, on the eve of New Year's Eve, I was offered the position.

So, was that a journey? Absolutely. But I think the journey I needed, and still need, to be prepared for is the one that is yet to come. By the end of this month I need to find a place to live and pack up my life and hope that one (or both) of my parents will take off work and help me move to a somewhat scary new city, just in time to turn 24 and start a my first "real" job just days apart.

So if anyone actually reads this, that is the reason for the change in title for my blog. But more importantly, if you could just be in prayer for me and my ever-evolving journey.