Just now, in the midst of packing for a week of vacation and hanging up laundry, I had a small epiphany. So for old time’s sake I thought, “Why not write a reflection about it?”
My near-perfect packing skills brought to mind YouthWorks and GreaterWorks and my now definite departure from the organization as I look for what will be next for me. My thoughts ultimately lead to pondering why God is asking (or rather, telling) me to stay in Cincinnati right now. While I think the answer to that very large question is being revealed to me bit by bit and day by day (in time I’ve been able to spend with my mom, in the compliments about how much better the house is looking with some of my cleaning, in getting to see old friends again — or to not see them, but know that the option is still available), my revelation is more in the confidence in knowing YouthWorks is not right for me, at least right now.
“Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, ‘Rabbi, it is good that we are here! Let us make three tents: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah,’ He hardly knew what to say, they were so terrified.” — Mark 9: 5-6
In reality, a significant portion of the past 15 months of my life has been incredibly challenging. Entering into my summer I was sure that I would conclude it by moving home. But then my staff was pretty much fantastic. And the summer went unexpectedly smooth with only minor bumps and hang-ups. So somewhere along the way I started to change my mind about being ready to leave.
Hindsight being 20:20 and all, I think maybe I was a little scared to leave behind what I had come to know and had become comfortable with in order to reenter a life I knew better five years ago. Like the disciples, I was a partly afraid and just didn’t want to leave an amazing experience. But now I see my summer in Booneville was a gift from God and His gentle way of saying to move on to what He has in store for me next.
Which, after this wonderful 3 a.m. insight, I think I am finally ready for…
Peace,
Becca
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